The Truth About No

Often times when discussing the cancellation of my mission people would say to me, "Why would Heavenly Father say no to you serving a mission?" It's a hard question to answer. I've asked myself this question and often wondered if it was because I wasn't worthy or good enough. But I've come to find that, as Heavenly Father humbles and uplifts, that isn't the answer. Rather, when Heavenly Father says no it's for a reason we don't often realize.

When Heavenly Father says "no" it's because he has an even bigger "yes" in mind.

Think about that for a second. Sometimes we linger so much on the no we forget he has something else in store for us. Imagine what it's like for Heavenly Father. He wants to bless us. But we have to do the right work and ask the right questions.

What needs to be understood about a no is you're given that answer because what you're asking for is not good enough for you. Heavenly Father will bless you with the best that you need. Not the best that you want. I recall a story of a woman who was dating a young man and wasn't sure if she wanted to marry him. He shared his desire to marry her so she knelt down in prayer. What was her answer? Absolutely not. Following that prompting, she ended it and later realized the blessing of that answer. She ended up marrying a wonderful man who was a much better choice for her. He was the best option for her. That other man wasn't. Heavenly Father had a wonderful yes in mind for her.

If there is one thing we need to always remember in regards to these sometimes heart breaking answers, it's that you should always listen to it. If she married that man her life wouldn't be what it is today, and she's thankful she made the right decision. Likewise, I once heard the story of another woman who, the day of her wedding, knelt down in prayer to ask if it was the right decision. What did she get? No. Did she listen? No. Many years later after a hard divorce and a marriage to another wonderful man she realized her mistake in not listening.

The truth is a no is never given without strong reason. Actually, no answer is every given without strong reason, but a no must never be ignored. Remember a no isn't your Heavenly Father turning against you. He isn't mistreating you or abandoning you. While receiving a no as an answer to a prayer can be hard, it can also be a wonderful blessing we don't understand at first.

One time I knelt down in prayer to my Heavenly Father about going to college. I desired to apply to certain colleges and sought an answer of encouragement. But it wasn't to be. I was devastated. It didn't make sense to me. Why didn't He want me to go to college? Isn't college a good thing? Several months later my father lost his job and we went into the process of moving. It blessed me so much more to listen to my Heavenly Father. I thought He was punishing me and didn't want me to succeed in life. What I later realized was he had other ideas of how to bless me and help me grow.

"It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us... If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers." - Gordon B. Hinckley

Receiving answers to prayers and heeding them takes a lot of faith. When we exercise that faith and show our Heavenly Father we're willing to do what is right, even when we don't understand why, He blesses us. Besides, what better person to put your trust in than your almighty Heavenly Father?

Sometimes receiving a no and moving forward with that takes more faith than a yes. I've learned that ten fold since cancelling my mission. Sometimes I'm down on myself and I think, "What now? I don't understand? Why would he say no to this?" While I may not see the blessings now of that decision and what's in store for me, I can't expect Heavenly Father to just hand me the blessings right away. As President Hinckley said, I need to be worthy and trust Him.

But remember, when you get a no listen to it. Always listen to it. It's easy to think of no's as Heavenly Father punishing us. Like when I was praying about college, I thought that no was meant to punish me. Instead it was given because I was needed elsewhere. Heavenly Father says no because he has something else in store. Something better. When we see it that way it's not so bad, but it's not easy to get to that understanding and to keep holding on to that understanding.

My father once told me, "Sometimes it's not Plan A. Sometimes it's not plan B. Sometimes it's plan C. You just have to keep praying and trying to figure it out. If you get a no try to figure out what to do." Think of it this way, Nephi and his brothers didn't get the plates the first time. They didn't get it the second time. They got it the third time. Sometimes it takes quite a few times before we get a yes. But there are blessings in the journey to a yes. Look at it from an eternal perspective. How do you think Heavenly Father feels when we put in the effort to try to find the right answer? He knows He's giving His blessings to the right person for the right reasons. We need to work and prove we're worthy of it. He wants to bless us. We just have to do our part.

So a no really isn't all that bad. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it's hard and awkward. Sometimes you don't understand why. Sometimes you don't get it. And sometimes you just want to cry on your pillow because you really wanted a yes. But you have to trust your Heavenly Father. He knows what He's doing. A no isn't the end of the world. The truth is a no is just the beginning of you finding better things. There are greater things in store for you than that no.

I know in my own life right now it's been taking a lot of faith to move forward and to figure out what I want to do. I guess really the truth about a no is it takes a whole lot more faith than I thought. And that's okay. Heavenly Father loves us and He wants to bless our lives and to help us grow so we can return to Him. I'm excited to move forward in my life and find out what's in store for me. Maybe I don't know what's in store and maybe I'll stumble along the way, but I'll figure it out.

Just to finish with my testimony, I know this church is true and that Heavenly Father lives and loves us. He desires the best for us. Can I say that enough? Well it's true. I know it is. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.