The Faith To Not Be Healed

source: lds.org

Last night was the CES fireside by Elder Bednar. Sadly I didn't bring a notebook to write notes (as I've been meaning to do more of) but that didn't mean that I didn't enjoy it or contemplate the message. Now while I do have more posts waiting to be published and ready to go, I figured I'd share my thoughts in regard to this talk.

First I would like to say if you haven't watched it you should do so before reading. You can view the CES fireside here. Now I probably won't take as much time to edit this as I do my other posts so bare with me and I apologize ahead of time.

Elder Bednar's talk spoke of "not shrinking" and "having the faith to not be healed." It's an interesting concept. My friend quoted a talk she heard once that said, "It takes more faith to not be healed than it does to have faith that you will be healed." (might not be an exact quote) I never really thought of it. I was always pretty darn sure of Heavenly Father. If I prayed for something I always thought, "I know you can do it Heavenly Father. You can do anything." I never thought to say, "I know you can give me this, or you could do this. And I'm okay with either outcome."

I can think of one instance in which I somewhat had "the faith to not be healed." But it wasn't about being healed. It had nothing to do with that. It was something else entirely. I've already written a long emotional post on this topic, and I'll share it soon, but I thought it'd be good to share this here.

In my decision to go on a mission I wrote a long journal entry, and in it I said I would choose a mission over career, even if I never have the chance to make my dreams come true. So essentially in prayer I said to my Heavenly Father I was willing to go on a mission and I was okay with giving up my career, and I would even be okay if I never got to have a chance at that career again.

That's hard. It's very hard. But I've accepted it. I'm not saying I have perfect faith or anything like that. Far from it. But already I've felt the blessings of this decision. It's not easy to step away from what you believe is best for you and what blessings you think you deserve to let Heavenly Father decide. But Heavenly Father has a plan for us and he wants us to be happy. Plus, come on, if there's anyone I want to put my trust in, it's the most powerful being in existence.

Choosing to fully and I mean fully accept his will is a huge act of faith. It's a great leap into the unknown. Had I chosen career, I have a pretty good idea of where my life would lead. But instead I've chosen to follow my Heavenly Father blindly. And that's hard. Of course I contemplate the possibilities of going for a career and succeeding, but what is worldly success to exaltation? If what we're doing isn't preparing us for eternal life then what's the use in doing it?

Now Elder Bednar also spoke of "not shrinking." I'm writing this with only the memory of his words since I can't read it yet, but my interpretation of this phrase was that we shouldn't let our faith and testimonies shrink.

Yesterday was fast and testimony meeting, and it must have been one of the most powerful meetings I'd ever been to. And I'm not saying that because I bore my testimony. No, I really was so touched by the spirit I didn't want it to end. I was so emotional I couldn't sing the closing hymn. When in such a setting how on earth can we let our testimonies shrink?

By building a firm foundation of faith we strengthen ourselves against Satan and the temptations of the natural man. It seems so simple but it has to be reiterated over and over again. We don't have one moment of faith and that's it. We're good. No, we have to work on it daily. We are in this fight for the rest of our lives. And it's tough. It is. If it wasn't it wouldn't be worth it.

Take into consideration stories in the scriptures. How many men do we read of who didn't shrink? And women I should add. Esther is a great example of not shrinking. If Esther shrank her people would have been killed. And she knew she herself could have been killed. But she did not shrink and was able to save her people. If Nephi shrank when his brothers were hard on him about building a boat they never would have made it to the Americas. If Abinidi shrank before the king and the judges Alma wouldn't have been converted and as a ripple effect many people would not have been touched by the spirit.

It's not just for us. It's for those whom lives we touch. Many of us know of someone who shrank or who are shrinking. Has it ever occurred to you that you can help change that? Or perhaps you're shrinking, and you don't know whether you want to or not. We have a wonderful Heavenly Father who is there to help us. He loves us. He cares about us. And he's there for us. But we need to seek him out. Heavenly Father can stop us from not shrinking unless we ask for it.

“We all want progress. But progress means getting nearer to the place where you want to be. And if you have taken a wrong turning, then to go forward does not get you any nearer. If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; and in that case the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive man.”  - C.S. Lewis Mere Christianity 

To keep ourselves from shrinking we must, as the wonderful C.S. Lewis stated, "[get] nearer to the place where [we] want to be." By building our faith and strengthening our testimonies we are not shrinking. We are expanding our love and faith for our Heavenly Father and Savior. This in turn brings us closer to them and helps us to become more like our Savior, and helps us to be stronger.

Now when we put these two ideas together we get something truly powerful. To have the faith to not be healed (or whatever it is that applies to your life) and to not shrink is powerful. What this basically means is you would be putting your complete and total trust in the Lord.

"Father, if you be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done." Luke 22: 42

This is hard. It is. It's okay to admit that. As Elder Bednar explained, the natural man wants things to go his way. We want Heavenly Father to give us the blessings we think are best for us. To step back and say, "Okay Heavenly Father, whatever you decide is what will be. I'm okay with this. I trust you." is hard. It takes a lot of faith. And it doesn't come right away. It takes much pondering and prayer.

It takes a tremendous amount of faith.

And yet, it is possible for all of us to have this faith. Do you think Elder Bednar spoke to the young adults just to intimidate them into thinking they can't have this sort of faith? Nope. As I was pondering this talk and the beautiful testimonies yesterday I realized there were so many amazing people in my ward who had this sort of tremendous faith. And I wanted to be more like that too. But that's just my ward. One ward in the entire world.

Elder Bednar wouldn't say that if it was only true of my ward. This is true of Latter Day Saints the world over. Everywhere we can find saints with this sort of tremendous faith, just as we can obtain this sort of faith as well. It's possible. Anything is possible through Christ and our Heavenly Father.

I hope I can have the faith described in Elder Bednar's talk for the rest of my life. Just as I hope everyone will reach that level of faith. Faith is a powerful tool in the constant war against Satan. Faith is the drum line in the Lord's band, and the foundation of all religion. Without faith we are nothing. We can do nothing. And we cannot progress in the Lord's great work.

Now we must ask ourselves, "Do I have the faith to not be healed? Will I shrink?" Here's hoping the answer is "Yes I do have the faith, and no I will not shrink." And if not, I hope you are willing to work towards that answer.