But I wasn't interested in going sledding and instead spent my time killing people as a werewolf (and subsequently always being killed early into the game), joining the dark side (we actually did have cookies), and eating toast (Nacho Libre jokes were made). Yet I could not shake the wonderful message given by President Henry Friday night at the conference.
He spoke of his life and struggles and the blessings of the gospel. There were a few things that stuck out to me, but I especially loved when he said, "I've learned more from losing than I have from winning."
We've all been told to learn from our mistakes and to move forward, yet for some reason I didn't think of it that way. Looking back on my life, I always thought I learned best from my success and wins. Maybe it's because I didn't want to think about my loses. I didn't want to look back on my failures. I just wanted to move forward and do better. It seems so obvious, yet it was as if I heard it for the first time.
When things go right do we forget to stop and analyze the situation and see why? Do we forget to think about what we can learn from this? Or do we just relish in the moment and forget to give gratitude?
Perhaps that's why I love journaling, because when I look back I can see things clearer than I could as I experienced them. I know we are all given trials and tribulations to teach us and help us grow, I just didn't think we learned more from losing than we did from winning.
On that train of thought: is there power in losing? Absolutely.
We know in the scriptures that many of the prophets did not seemingly succeed. Abinidai might not have known that after his death Alma would follow in his footsteps and end up converting thousands. Or perhaps he did. I wouldn't be surprised if he did. Either way, assuming Abinidai didn't, he must have felt like he failed big time. He must have thought he lost.
My thoughts turn back to last year when my father lost his job. It felt like we were lost. We had no idea what to expect or what was going to happen. But we learned. We got up and pressed forward, finding a way and turning to our Heavenly Father for guidance. We're still learning and Heavenly Father is slowly unraveling His plan for us but we're not going to let this bring us down.
President Henry explained it in terms of wrestling, being that he was a wrestling coach for many years. He explained how some who lost matches didn't need to be talked to. They were quiet and analyzed what they did wrong. If anything they needed encouragement. Others needed to be talked to to help them understand how they could do better.
Perhaps in our own lives we could ask ourselves which we are on this spectrum. Do we need encouragement because we are down on ourselves or do we need help in understanding what we need to do better? I can tell you that personally I'm a little of both. And I bet most of us are the same way.
I can't tell you what power you can gain from losing and that you'll always learn something. Sometimes you just have to trust in the Lord and press forward, even when you don't fully understand. I do know there is power in losing, though. And I do know our Savior can help us.
To share a somewhat silly example, I'm really bad a playing games. I usually lose when I play games the first time around. When we first got Just Dance I was horrible. So horrible Herby thought the controllers were broken because I got such low scores. They weren't. I was just that bad. And I hated playing in front of people because of it. But once I observed and got a feel for it, I came back stronger, until I had most (if not all) of the top scores.
Losing can be embarrassing, and it is. I think if it wasn't for the fact that it was my first time playing Risk later that night I would have been incredibly embarrassed. But I learned, and who knows, maybe I'll do better next time. It's okay to be embarrassed. It's okay to have a hard time. It's okay to be beat down and to need time to sort out your thoughts and emotions. Guess what? You can try again. You can take this moment to build yourself up into someone stronger. There is power in losing.
A wonderful example of power in losing is Job. He lost everything save his faith. Job had a wonderful and powerful testimony. Have we striven to be more like Job? Can we take a loss as well as him? Or do we murmur? Are we striving for power in our loses?
It's not easy. No doubt about it. I think it's safe to say many of us are hard on ourselves after a loss or we don't understand why we lost. That's okay. You have a mentor who is ready and waiting to help you. You have a wonderful coach who's been through it all and can help you. He knows what you've gone through and he can help you through it. Despite being crucified he has risen. And he will never lose. He will always win, and he will help you to rise up with him. In fact as I recall a holiday is coming up in relation to this very resurrection and person.
If you want to find real power in losing then you need to turn to the atonement. No one has risen better or can help us gain power better than our Savior. And he can help us to do the same. I'm not going to get into the atonement because that's a post for another day in the near future (say... around Easter time?), but each one of us can come to understand it and how it can give us power in our own personal studies and prayers.
I'm so thankful for President Henry's words and guidance and for the memories made at Winter Conference. I've been thinking a lot on the atonement and what I can learn from losing since and I'm excited for Easter. If we remember to turn to our Savior, not murmur, and to be more like Job, we can learn so much and gain a great and powerful testimony. And I wish that for all of us.
Happy (early) Easter!
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